Tag: Domestic Violence

The Toxic Theology Of John Piper Bears Wicked Fruit Again. Domestic Violence Victim at Bethlehem Baptist Facing Excommunication and Shunning.

hayward_2lambs
Cartoon. Used with permission by David Hayward. Canada. https://nakedpastor.com/
By Natalie Klejwa (c), used with permission. Her blog: https://emotionalabusesurvivor.com/
Update: May 2018. Happy News. Natalie’s divorce was finalized after she endured decades of an abusive marriage and flak from the abusive pastors/elders at Bethlehem Baptist Church (John Piper’s church) in Minnesota. BBC pastors/elders lied about Natalie before thousands of church members, excommunicated, and shunned her. None of it was true. Natalie reconnected with a nice man that she had known when they were both children in school. He bought a large home near her home, big enough to have all of her minor children live with them and her soap-making business. They got married. They had a simple, small church wedding ceremony followed by a dessert of pies. Natalie and her children are very happy and are treated with love and respect, no abuse of any kind. Her second husband is a great guy. Thank you Lord for answering prayers for this family. They have moved on from such a wicked, unloving church and arrogant, abusive, uncaring pastors/elders. 

Last night the elders of Bethlehem Baptist shared a few blatant lies, and some half-truths spun in context of those lies. They planted a few false ideas that never came up in my case (infidelity?) as well as left out pertinent information in order to flavor their testimony against me to the congregation. They did this publically and shamelessly. They murdered me last night in the eyes of many people who will never have access to the truth. I’ve been scared to death for years of what they could do to me. How they could ruin my life. But I’m pretty sure lying about me and shaming me is the worst they can do. What they’ve indirectly done to my children is the thing that really breaks my heart and pisses me off.

Are you my friend? You scared to stand with me? The BIG D for Divorce will be on my chest soon, and I’m the one who initiated it! Sinner Woman. Jezebel. The unforgiveable sin. I’m a pariah now. An outcast. All because I couldn’t gut out the hell of being married to my Ex for another 25 years.

I’m sick to death of living in fear of destructive men and organizations who control other people by using THE BIBLE. By claiming they have the radar on God while others don’t. They say I was not emotionally abused by my Ex for 24 years. Like they know. They call my story a “biased narrative” so they can minimize and dismiss it. They say I have no right to divorce him. They dismiss the 23 years I worked my butt off trying to fix my marriage, cooperate with all the men-leaders, be respectful, be vulnerable, grovel in sorrow and repentance, and obey – and when I finally say I can’t do it anymore – my kids need me, I need to heal, to focus on God, to move forward, they call me “resistant.” I needed and asked for friendship and love. They betrayed me with a smile on their face and a Bible verse on their lips. They use spiritual abuse to control women and children and even other men. This is reprehensible, and I will spend the rest of my life exposing it wherever I see it.

Call me angry. Call me rebellious. Call me a lunatic. Call me a bitch. Call me whatever you want. Spew out your venomous lies to serve your misogynistic agendas. My Creator calls me Beloved. He calls me Daughter, and I choose to believe and obey Him. No more groveling. No more apologies. I wanted to keep this private and protect my Ex and my church. But Bethlehem is just chomping at the bit to excommunicate me publically. Fine. You want to bring this to the public square? (And don’t drivel about how it’s “private” within the church. That’s a silly notion rooted in unreality.)

I dare you to show support. And if you can’t – you’re no real friend of mine and no real friend of women and children, in general. You’re only a cog in the well-oiled system of abuse. Be gone from me.

Yes. There’s a big, fat, deep line in the sand, and it’s time to rock and roll.

He Doesn’t Have to Wreck Your Life, Part 3 — Give Her Wings

Our friend, Valerie Jacobsen, wrote an intelligent manifesto about how to care for those who are victims of covenant-breaking and, as a result, have found themselves divorced. It was wonderful and you can find it here. But, we loved loved LOVED this part: As the Church, we have an obligation to believe and testify that…

via He Doesn’t Have to Wreck Your Life, Part 3 — Give Her Wings

Update: Freed Pastor Saeed Abedini Files To Divorce Naghmeh Abedini — Divorce Minister blog

Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable … not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. I Timothy 3:2a,3b (NIV) Related Post: “Naghmeh Abedini And Sorting My Painful History” Pastor Saeed Abedini is one of the five captives freed from Iran this past January. His…

via Update: Freed Pastor Saeed Abedini Files To Divorce Naghmeh Abedini — Divorce Minister

God hates divorce?

Does Malachi 2:16 teach that God hates divorce? The King James: For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hos…

Source: God hates divorce?

Jessica Fore, a Victim of Domestic Violence, Is Indicted by The Presbyterian Church of America for Contempt Toward the Church and Its Leaders —

The PCA contributes to the abuse of a domestic violence survivor. Shame on them!

via Jessica Fore, a Victim of Domestic Violence, Is Indicted by The Presbyterian Church of America for Contempt Toward the Church and Its Leaders —

Batterers

Batterers rarely disclose their violence fully, even in the face of considerable evidence. Our clients also deny the effects of their battering on their partners. This denial can sometimes hold firm through months of participation in batterer programs, though the existence of independent evidence, such as police reports with which to confront the client, can assist in breaking down denial. Even those men who admit to some portions of their violence typically minimize their history of abuse, reporting significantly less violence and threatening behavior than their female partners attribute to them and than is revealed by court and police records.

The Batterer as Parent, Lundy Bancroft

The worst things Jerkface ever said to me.

Bye-Bye, Jerkface.

One night shortly after I left Jerkface for good, I was sitting alone in my dark little apartment in the fog belt of San Francisco, and I actually missed him. Why? Who the heck knows, although I suppose it was a bit of Stockholm Syndrome. I was appalled and bewildered because I had fought so hard to free myself from the hell of our marriage and had been thoroughly enjoying coming home after work and oh, just listening to music (shocking) or eating whatever I damn well wanted (gasp!) instead of hearing his voice, smooth with faux concern, slowly and systematically destroy me and what I knew to be real.

There was no way I was going to allow myself to go back to him in a dangerous moment of weakness.

So I made a Jerkface candy jar. What’s that, you ask? The idea was that any time I dared think of going…

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Zeal Without Knowledge: Bible Interpretation that Leads to Mercilessness and Injustice — A Cry For Justice

I have written on this subject and on the following Scriptures in other posts. But they have been on my mind again the last few weeks. I keep seeing them violated by Bible teachers, pastors, and counselors of a certain type. Recently I have seen this “zeal without knowledge” pattern in publications by writers of […]

via Zeal Without Knowledge: Bible Interpretation that Leads to Mercilessness and Injustice — A Cry For Justice