Did you know that church members are the real problem for those gospel™ driven pastors?
Tag: Patriarchy
The Toxic Theology Of John Piper Bears Wicked Fruit Again. Domestic Violence Victim at Bethlehem Baptist Facing Excommunication and Shunning.
Cartoon. Used with permission by David Hayward. Canada. https://nakedpastor.com/
By Natalie Klejwa (c), used with permission. Her blog: https://emotionalabusesurvivor.com/
Last night the elders of Bethlehem Baptist shared a few blatant lies, and some half-truths spun in context of those lies. They planted a few false ideas that never came up in my case (infidelity?) as well as left out pertinent information in order to flavor their testimony against me to the congregation. They did this publically and shamelessly. They murdered me last night in the eyes of many people who will never have access to the truth. I’ve been scared to death for years of what they could do to me. How they could ruin my life. But I’m pretty sure lying about me and shaming me is the worst they can do. What they’ve indirectly done to my children is the thing that really breaks my heart and pisses me off.
Are you my friend? You scared to stand with me? The BIG D for Divorce will be on my chest soon, and I’m the one who initiated it! Sinner Woman. Jezebel. The unforgiveable sin. I’m a pariah now. An outcast. All because I couldn’t gut out the hell of being married to my Ex for another 25 years.
I’m sick to death of living in fear of destructive men and organizations who control other people by using THE BIBLE. By claiming they have the radar on God while others don’t. They say I was not emotionally abused by my Ex for 24 years. Like they know. They call my story a “biased narrative” so they can minimize and dismiss it. They say I have no right to divorce him. They dismiss the 23 years I worked my butt off trying to fix my marriage, cooperate with all the men-leaders, be respectful, be vulnerable, grovel in sorrow and repentance, and obey – and when I finally say I can’t do it anymore – my kids need me, I need to heal, to focus on God, to move forward, they call me “resistant.” I needed and asked for friendship and love. They betrayed me with a smile on their face and a Bible verse on their lips. They use spiritual abuse to control women and children and even other men. This is reprehensible, and I will spend the rest of my life exposing it wherever I see it.
Call me angry. Call me rebellious. Call me a lunatic. Call me a bitch. Call me whatever you want. Spew out your venomous lies to serve your misogynistic agendas. My Creator calls me Beloved. He calls me Daughter, and I choose to believe and obey Him. No more groveling. No more apologies. I wanted to keep this private and protect my Ex and my church. But Bethlehem is just chomping at the bit to excommunicate me publically. Fine. You want to bring this to the public square? (And don’t drivel about how it’s “private” within the church. That’s a silly notion rooted in unreality.)
I dare you to show support. And if you can’t – you’re no real friend of mine and no real friend of women and children, in general. You’re only a cog in the well-oiled system of abuse. Be gone from me.
Yes. There’s a big, fat, deep line in the sand, and it’s time to rock and roll.
Dr. Roger Nicole – Staunch Defender of Biblical Egalitarianism and Inerrancy of Scripture —The Wartburg Watch
What if those who would become known as ‘Young, Restless, and Reformed’ had followed the teachings of Roger Nicole, instead of Wayne Grudem and John Piper?
via Dr. Roger Nicole – Staunch Defender of Biblical Egalitarianism and Inerrancy of Scripture —
Dr. Roger Nicole on Biblical Equality
http://www.theopedia.com/roger-nicole
Roger Nicole (b. 1915) is visiting Professor of Theology at Reformed Theological Seminary in Orlando and professor emeritus of Gordon-Conwell Seminary. A native Swiss Reformed theologian and a Baptist, Dr. Nicole is regarded as one of the preeminent theologians in America. He was an associate editor for the New Geneva Study Bible and assisted in the translation of the NIV Bible. He is a past president and founding member of the Evangelical Theological Society, and a founding member of the International Council on Biblical Inerrancy. He has written over one hundred articles and contributed to more than fifty books and reference works.
Nicole received S.T.M. and Th.D. degrees from Gordon Divinity School, a Ph.D. from Harvard University, and D.D. from Wheaton College.
Selected publications
- Roger Nicole, Standing Forth: Collected Writings of Roger Nicole, Christian Focus Publications (September 2002) ISBN 1857926463
- Roger Nicole, Our Sovereign Saviour: Understanding the Essence of the Reformed Faith, Christian Focus Publications (2002) ISBN 1857927370
- David W. Bailey, Speaking the Truth in Love: The Life and Legacy of Roger Nicole, Solid Ground Christian Books (2006) ISBN 1599250934
Online writings
- The Canon of the New Testament, JETS 40/2 (June 1997) 199–206.
- Open Theism is Incompatible with Inerrancy Founders Journal (Spring 2003) 14-21.
- New Testament Use of the Old Testament from Revelation and the Bible, ed. Carl. F.H. Henry (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1958).
- John Calvin’s view of Limited Atonement at apuritansmind.com from Westminster Theological Journal 47:2 (Fall 1985).
- Biblical Egalitarianism and the Inerrancy of Scripture, Published in Priscilla Papers, Spring 2006
He Doesn’t Have to Wreck Your Life, Part 3 — Give Her Wings
Our friend, Valerie Jacobsen, wrote an intelligent manifesto about how to care for those who are victims of covenant-breaking and, as a result, have found themselves divorced. It was wonderful and you can find it here. But, we loved loved LOVED this part: As the Church, we have an obligation to believe and testify that…
via He Doesn’t Have to Wreck Your Life, Part 3 — Give Her Wings
Psychologist/Author Steve Hassan on Thought Reform Used By High-Control Groups. Inspired by Work of Psychiatrist Dr. Robert Jay Lifton
by Velour/MtnShepherdess ©
My former church, the authoritarian Grace Bible Fellowship of Silicon Valley, is a high-control, abusive group and uses Thought Reform techniques to gain church members’ compliance. GBFSV pastors/elders are extremely abusive and manipulative, as scores of ex-members whom have been interviewed have stated was their first-hand experience.
I recommend Steve Hassan’s website, videos, and his books including Combating Cult Mind Control to anyone who is thinking about going to Grace Bible Fellowship of Silicon Valley, wants to get out of Grace Bible Fellowship of Silicon Valley and has serious concerns about what goes on at GBFSV, anyone who has left Grace Bible Fellowship of Silicon Valley and is trying to figure out what happened there, and for the family and friends of people who are going to Grace Bible Fellowship of Silicon Valley and have seen changes for the worse in their loved ones’ behavior after being at Grace Bible Fellowship of Silicon Valley.
Here is an excerpt from Steve Hassan’s website about the B.I.T.E. Model that high control groups, like Grace Bible Fellowship of Silicon Valley, frequently use. Study it carefully.
https://www.freedomofmind.com/Info/BITE/bitemodel.php
Many people think of mind control as an ambiguous, mystical process that cannot be defined in concrete terms. In reality, mind control refers to a specific set of methods and techniques, such as hypnosis or thought- stopping, that influence how a person thinks, feels, and acts. Like many bodies of knowledge, it is not inherently good or evil. If mind control techniques are used to empower an individual to have more choice, and authority for his life remains within himself, the effects can be beneficial. For example, benevolent mind control can be used to help people quit smoking without affecting any other behavior. Mind control becomes destructive when the locus of control is external and it is used to undermine a person’s ability to think and act independently.
As employed by the most destructive cults, mind control seeks nothing less than to disrupt an individual’s authentic identity and reconstruct it in the image of the cult leader. I developed the BITE model to help people determine whether or not a group is practicing destructive mind control. The BITE model helps people understand how cults suppress individual member’s uniqueness and creativity. BITE stands for the cult’s control of an individual’s Behavior, Intellect, Thoughts, and Emotions.
It is important to understand that destructive mind control can be determined when the overall effect of these four components promotes dependency and obedience to some leader or cause. It is not necessary for every single item on the list to be present. Mindcontrolled cult members can live in their own apartments, have nine-to-five jobs, be married with children, and still be unable to think for themselves and act independently.
We are all subject to influence from our parents, friends, teachers, co-workers… When this influence helps someone grow and maintain an internal locus of control, it is healthy. Influence which is used to keep people mindless and dependent is unhealthy. To download a PDF of the Influence Continuum graphic, click here.
Destructive mind control is not just used by cults. Learn about the Human Trafficking BITE Model and the Terrorism BITE Model.
The BITE Model
I. Behavior Control II. Information Control
III. Thought Control IV. Emotional Control
Behavior Control
1. Regulate individual’s physical reality
2. Dictate where, how, and with whom the member lives and associates or isolates
3. When, how and with whom the member has sex
4. Control types of clothing and hairstyles
5. Regulate diet – food and drink, hunger and/or fasting
6. Manipulation and deprivation of sleep
7. Financial exploitation, manipulation or dependence
8. Restrict leisure, entertainment, vacation time
9. Major time spent with group indoctrination and rituals and/or self indoctrination including the Internet
10. Permission required for major decisions
11. Thoughts, feelings, and activities (of self and others) reported to superiors
12. Rewards and punishments used to modify behaviors, both positive and negative
13. Discourage individualism, encourage group-think
14. Impose rigid rules and regulations
15. Instill dependency and obedience
16. Threaten harm to family and friends
17. Force individual to rape or be raped
18. Instill dependency and obedience
19. Encourage and engage in corporal punishment
Information Control
1. Deception:
a. Deliberately withhold information
b. Distort information to make it more acceptable
c. Systematically lie to the cult member
2. Minimize or discourage access to non-cult sources of information, including:
a. Internet, TV, radio, books, articles, newspapers, magazines, other media
b.Critical information
c. Former members
d. Keep members busy so they don’t have time to think and investigate
e. Control through cell phone with texting, calls, internet tracking
3. Compartmentalize information into Outsider vs. Insider doctrines
a. Ensure that information is not freely accessible
b.Control information at different levels and missions within group
c. Allow only leadership to decide who needs to know what and when
4. Encourage spying on other members
a. Impose a buddy system to monitor and control member
b.Report deviant thoughts, feelings and actions to leadership
c. Ensure that individual behavior is monitored by group
5. Extensive use of cult-generated information and propaganda, including:
a. Newsletters, magazines, journals, audiotapes, videotapes, YouTube, movies and other media
b.Misquoting statements or using them out of context from non-cult sources
6. Unethical use of confession
a. Information about sins used to disrupt and/or dissolve identity boundaries
b. Withholding forgiveness or absolution
c. Manipulation of memory, possible false memories
Thought Control
1. Require members to internalize the group’s doctrine as truth
a. Adopting the group’s ‘map of reality’ as reality
b. Instill black and white thinking
c. Decide between good vs. evil
d. Organize people into us vs. them (insiders vs. outsiders)
2.Change person’s name and identity
3. Use of loaded language and clichés which constrict knowledge, stop critical thoughts and reduce complexities into platitudinous buzz words
4. Encourage only ‘good and proper’ thoughts
5. Hypnotic techniques are used to alter mental states, undermine critical thinking and even to age regress the member
6. Memories are manipulated and false memories are created
7. Teaching thought-stopping techniques which shut down reality testing by stopping negative thoughts and allowing only positive thoughts, including:
a. Denial, rationalization, justification, wishful thinking
b. Chanting
c. Meditating
d. Praying
e. Speaking in tongues
f. Singing or humming
8. Rejection of rational analysis, critical thinking, constructive criticism
9. Forbid critical questions about leader, doctrine, or policy allowed
10. Labeling alternative belief systems as illegitimate, evil, or not useful
Emotional Control
1. Manipulate and narrow the range of feelings – some emotions and/or needs are deemed as evil, wrong or selfish
2. Teach emotion-stopping techniques to block feelings of homesickness, anger, doubt
3. Make the person feel that problems are always their own fault, never the leader’s or the group’s fault
4. Promote feelings of guilt or unworthiness, such as
a. Identity guilt
b. You are not living up to your potential
c. Your family is deficient
d. Your past is suspect
e. Your affiliations are unwise
f. Your thoughts, feelings, actions are irrelevant or selfish
g. Social guilt
h. Historical guilt
5. Instill fear, such as fear of:
a. Thinking independently
b. The outside world
c. Enemies
d. Losing one’s salvation
e. Leaving or being shunned by the group
f. Other’s disapproval
6. Extremes of emotional highs and lows – love bombing and praise one moment and then declaring you are horrible sinner
7. Ritualistic and sometimes public confession of sins
8. Phobia indoctrination: inculcating irrational fears about leaving the group or questioning the leader’s authority
a. No happiness or fulfillment possible outside of the group
b. Terrible consequences if you leave: hell, demon possession, incurable diseases, accidents, suicide, insanity, 10,000 reincarnations, etc.
c. Shunning of those who leave; fear of being rejected by friends, peers, and family
d. Never a legitimate reason to leave; those who leave are weak, undisciplined, unspiritual, worldly, brainwashed by family or counselor, or seduced by money, sex, or rock and roll
e. Threats of harm to ex-member and family”
***************************************
More information about Dr. Robert Jay Lifton, Yale psychiatrist, and his research of Thought Reform techniques used by high control groups written about by Christian researcher Brad Sargent on his blog:
https://futuristguy.wordpress.com/2012/05/16/the-hunger-games-trilogy-5a/
Tell Your Stories

When God Hates People That You Do

Jessica Fore, a Victim of Domestic Violence, Is Indicted by The Presbyterian Church of America for Contempt Toward the Church and Its Leaders —
The PCA contributes to the abuse of a domestic violence survivor. Shame on them!
Rachel Miller and the Missing CBMW Posts on the Eternal Subordination of the Son —
Why does CBMW secretly delete inconvenient articles?
via Rachel Miller and the Missing CBMW Posts on the Eternal Subordination of the Son —
